February 2011
191 posts
It Never Fails
That the people who use the phrase “I hate drama” are ALWAYS the biggest starters of drama
Whenever I hear someone complain about it my first thought is always to say “Well then stop starting it.”
To all of you “drama haters” I give you the words of DMX, and pray that you heed them;
“Don’t start nothin won’t be nothin”
It’s that...
January 2011
66 posts
True Facts
“Innocence is bliss”
-Marissa A
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The Real Transvestite Hoarders of Orange Country...
This kind of genius is why I watch 30 Rock
And not bull crap reality television
Although there is a special place in my heart for Lady Cops
Police Women of Memphis is legit.
Katy Perry's
Very first album was a Christian album self titled Katy Hudson (Her name at the time)
It only sold 200 copies
Two of which are at my house.
Along with an autographed Katy Hudson poster
Signed with a Bible verse next to her name.
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Abortion Infuriates Me.
As many of you know racial things tend to not bother me. If someone thinks all black people are crap and useless ladi-fricken-da. I don’t care. However, less of you know that there is one racial thing that infuriates me and that is abortion.
Last I checked the number of abortion clinics in ethnic neighborhoods was something close to 90%. It is no secret that Planned Parenthood founder,...
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Do Not Make Walmart Babies
One of my coworkers who has hit on me once or twice, brought his ADORABLE son to work! I was Door Greeter for the day so he brought his baby over to me. Blond hair, blue eyes, just the cutest! As he picked him up to walk home I told him “He’s so cute!”
He responded, “Yeah, I make ‘em cute! Caaall me!”
lol I don’t think so
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You Filthy Walmart
I was finishing ringing up this couple and there was only one other person behind them but he refused to put his two small bags of Cheetos on the belt. I was kinda small talking with the couple in front of him and wondering why he refused to put his stuff on the belt. Finally I looked at him and said “Hello” and the couple started to walk away and he tossed his chips on the belt and,...
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Thighs And Stuff
One of my thighs is bigger than the other. This blows.
But, hilariously lucky for you, it is not my first experience with this sort of thing though. When I was playing hand bells I had to strike my left hand 3x more than my right hand, and my left hand had a bigger bell so freshman year at Fox my left arm was visibly more buff than my right.
And once I went outside to read under a tree (Cause...
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Life Rules: WoW
You cannot play WoW AND complain about not having a girlfriend! You have to choose one or the other because, trust me, no girl wants to be 3rd place to World of Warcraft and, what I’m sure is a crippling addiction to Mountain Dew.
That is not how life works.
I Love The Name Chester
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO RHYME WITH “MOLESTER”!!!?!?!?!?!?
My Walmart
Sorry I haven’t posted about the Wal in a while, I hadn’t been working that much lately but my hours went back to normal so I should have some more creepy stories soon :D
Fat, Skinny, and Rude
People always make comments about my weight (Or lack thereof) and I just want to know when that became ok. I really don’t care about telling someone my weight if they ask or metioning it if I feel like it, but people who make bitter comments to me about it like its my fault they weigh what they do? Shut up.
“We can’t all be as skinny as Alexandra!”
Actually we can…...
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Walmart: Creepy Husband
A man and his wife walked up to my aisle with a few items and the second I saw the man I immediately began getting some serious Pastor vibes. I asked him how he was and he replied “I’m Swell Alexandra”
Definitely a pastor!
He was nice and chatty but his wife didn’t say a word or even crack a smile. She looked pissed actually. As he was leaving he looked at his wife and...
Maroon 5
Adam Lavigne’s voice comes out of my iPod and into my soul.
I love my ducks
colonelab:
We’re awesome.
Future Hooter's Girl Bibs For Babies
The execs at Hooters wake up every morning and laugh at the rest of us
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Secrets; Copying Mya
When people in movies kiss in public I always think of how awkward and gross it would be if I were to see it on the street.
I love seeing fathers interacting with their kids. At the park, on the street, at work, any place. It literally warms my heart!
I have the worst time not judging people who smoke hookah. I don’t do it but its always a conscious effort. Its just… smoking is...
Ohh Weird...
When I say something is weird, some people get offended. Not. Quite. Sure. Whhyyyy.
Weird. Unusual. You usually see someone with brown hair. You do not usually see someone with a 1ft tall lime green mohawk. That is weird to your ever day routine.
Weird is not bad. It just means uncommon and wasn’t that the point after all?
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Walmart And Prostitutes
So there was the gross guy who used to hit on me (shocker) he was a cart pusher and he got fired. After he got fired I found out he had been asking around to see if certain girls, including me, had boyfriends. He also asked me for my email to find me on Facebook. I never gave it to him, knowing that if you type “Alexandra Williams” into the search box there are 300 pages to search...
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Why Do I Get Invited to Parties
Hey Alexandra? You know how you hate crowds, alcohol, drunk people, loud music, strangers, and sluts? You’ll LOVE this party!
Seriously? I DON’T want to go! lol I feel like everyone should know this by now!
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Why I'll Never Drink
I personally just hate every aspect of alcohol, but, for specificity’s sake, here is a blog.
1. The Bible says not to get drunk and that is the number one reason I’ll never be drunk, but the number two reason is something I’ve recently come to realize. Life does not happen on schedule. It does what it wants when it wants and I don’t want to be caught drunk when it does. If...
Katt Williams/C. S. Lewis
CAUTION; Strong language.
“You need to be the shit to you. Ladies stop waitin on a nigga to verify you. You gotta know you the shit to you. We tired of ya’ll gettin with us and blamin’ us for shit we aint even in control of. Talkin ‘You ruined my self esteem.’ Bitch its called SELF ESTEEM. Its esteem of your mother fuckin self bitch! How the fuck could I fuck up how...
My Sister Doesn't Know Hookers
Elizabeth and I were at the mall. We just left Forever 21 with the spoils of our journey.
Elizabeth: Man I better keep the receipts! ALL of this was an impulse buy! I shop like a hooker!
Alexandra: What? What does that mean? Hookers don’t buy they get bought.
Elizabeth: Oh who buys hookers? I spent money like a pimp!
Alexandra: No, pimps sell hookers.
Elizabeth: Who buys...
Random Walmart Men
On black Friday I was fighting through crowds trying to follow one of the my bosses whom I was assisting at the moment. He was much taller than me and kept a few steps ahead. As I was slithered between people as fast as I could a tall black gangsta-man who was walking the past me put his hand on my should and said, with a gangsta-head-nod, “AleXAAAANdra!”
Neither of us stopped...
Stay Single Walmart!
My friend Jaed was working in customer service when I man walked up to her and started hitting on her.
Man: Hey girl, you’re real cute.
Jaed: Thank you.
Man: You single?
Jaed: No.
Man: Awe man, all girls should stay single just in case I come around.
Walmart: You Could Be A Puppy!
My friend Jaed was gathering some items that people decided not to buy last minute and was putting them in a cart so she could place them back on the shelves when a tall black gangsta-man walked up to her.
Gangsta-Man: Hey how do you say yo’ name?
Jaed: Its pronounced like “Jade”
Gangsta-Man: Oh but its spelled wrong!
Jaed: That is because it isn’t my full name.
...